Yesterday morning, at 6:14 am, she was born into her mommy and daddy's hands at HOME! I had resolved to go to the hospital after all the drama and fear at the ultrasound clinic. However, when I went into labor, none of the "clues" that true labor had begun until it was FAR too late to leave. I don't think I would have even gotten to the van in time.

The short version of the birth story:
On the evening of the 9th, I warned my husband to go to bed early. I wasn't having regular contractions or anything, but if my past pattern held, I would go into labor in the wee hours of the morning if he stayed up late. True to my pattern, when he came to bed after midnight, I woke up and was hit with an intense contraction. A few minutes later, another, and I decided to get up and enjoy my "birth pool" since I wouldn't get to give birth in it (since I had resolved to head to the hospital once labor was well established).

In the pool, I shifted position, and gradually, began to doze between contractions. Since I've typically had at least one bout of hard "practice labor," I was certain things would peter out, and this belief was reinforced by the fact that I was falling asleep! Plus there was no rhyme or reason to the pattern of contractions, no bloody show, and no broken waters.

At 5:45 am, I went to the bathroom. I had a strong contraction and at the peak, felt pushy! "Uhhh..." It was WAY too soon for that. I did NOT want to risk swelling my cervix when I could not possibly even remotely close to giving birth. I would get in the pool again and the contractions would stop. Shit, the pool had cooled off way too much, and needed to be partially drained. As soon as the next contraction, I practically ran up the stairs to sit on the toilet in the master bathroom. I whimpered to my dear husband, "Nick..." I panted a little. "I need your help." He woke up and did as I asked- start draining the pool so it could be refilled. So, you know, my contractions would stop, lol! 'Cause I was done with this stupid bout of "false labor."

I went down the stairs again and went on my hands and knees for a contraction where I began to freak out, begging my husband to "MAKE IT STOP!" We all know what that means, of course? Yep, serious transition time. It was at this point I had to realize, this baby was on the way, and I wasn't going anywhere. I sat on the toilet and the baby started coming down. As in, OUT! I could not move, and had a moment of panic that she would fall into the toilet. No worries. I guided her head halfway out, and cried about how much it hurt. :D Then there was a short pause and I was able to come forward into a hands and knees/ crouch so my husband could help catch. And out she came! Just that fast...

In Response to Online Critism for my Choice not to immediately sign up for a C-section:

Honestly, I do understand. The past week, honestly, was a bit traumatic for me. I wrote a long post about intuition last night, but haven't sent it yet. Basically, I get where you are coming from. Intuition is not infalliable, and it can be incredibly difficult to discern intuition from fear or wishful thinking, or vice versa. Which is why, over last weekend, I decided to consent to the operation. The ONLY reason I did not consent at the clinic on Friday was because the drive to sign up for a c-section felt like coersion and ... I don't know, insincere. That's the wrong word, but I don't know the right one.

There were several things that bothered me. One, they offered me the choice of monitoring very closely, UNTIL they realized that I had no local health care provider. Then they pushed very very hard for a c-section. Two, the dr that agreed to do it for me would not speak to me. I had to schedule the surgery first. For no other surgery would a dr refuse to speak to a patient unless he scheduled a surgery first. Three, the big reason that the maternal fetal specialist gave me for the section was the baby's "unstable lie" and basically the risk of a cord accident- speciafically cord prolapse. While I recognize that is a REAL risk, it just did not ring true. If you have suspected IUGR, wouldn't the REAL worry be baby going into severe distress or passing because they aren't getting enough nutrients?

So I was shocked when they had me leave on Monday. I was honestly a bit disappointed. I had done a lot of mental, emotional, and PHYSICAL work to get ready to be sent to the OR that afternoon. I had lined up childcare, found a doula to support me, contacted lots of postpartum doulas...Not to mention the profound spiritual drain of working through givnig up a UC willingly for a major abdominal surgery.

Okay, I've had enough computer time, I'm going to go lay down. I just wanted to reply because I found your post thought provoking. Here's a question: Suppose this birth had turned out differently? Suppose I'd had a section on Monday? I thought that was the right choice. Or my babe had passed over last weekend? Hind site is 20/20, right?

Mira Evangeline, tiny and perfect with great strong lungs and petite little fingers and toes and a round fuzzy head. Contrary to the ominous predictions, she was a good sized newborn at *7 lbs 14 ozs!* Perfectly proportioned, and no signs of being in distress at all.